a special guy

My son is not obviously autistic, that is unless you try to hold a conversation with him, and perhaps not immediately so even then. He is what is called 'high-functioning': a candidate for Asperger's Syndrome.

(For those not in the know, Aspergers's Syndrome is a subset of autism. So much so that the official diagnosis has just recently been 'retired' in favor of a more general Autism Spectrum Disorder ASD diagnosis.)

Now like all too many, all I knew about autism or Asperger's were the media representations prevalent in our society: 'head-bangers,' Rain Man and Temple Grandin. What in the world could our special guy have in common with this rogues gallery?

Well, of course, these representations are extremely misleading, and I like so many others was misled.

Autism does not equal head banging mutes lacking empathy or feelings.

The actual Rain Man (Kim Peak) was not autistic, he had FG syndrome, Nevertheless, the stereotype of the 'idiot-savant' - that all those afflicted with autism or Asperger's (and are not head-banging mutes) are savants possessing photographic memory or capable of unthinkingly processing miraculous calculations - has taken root.

Temple Grandin, she was the 'feel-good story:' the rare individual who triumphed despite her autism, kind of like a Helen Keller of autism. But without really knowing anything more about her than the fact that she created a 'hug machine' and can think from the perspective of farmyard animals, I had no reason to relate what little I knew of her condition to what I observed in my child.

Our little guy is special: he is very affectionate, he loves to hug and snuggle. He smiles, obviously has feelings and emotions and made appropriate eye contact, or so I thought at the time.

Sure, he has his little quirks, things that we thought we unique and special to him. He loved to spin objects or watch spinning objects: wheels on his toy truck and his little red wagon and he was absolutely mesmerized when we took him to a restaurant filled with ceiling fans! This behavior, like some of his other little 'fixations' has decreased over time. (For a brief time he could not get enough of playing with coat hangers, hanging them 'just so' in different combinations all about the house; now he could care less.)

But other 'interests' have remained constant: he loves to watch slowly swirling water, whether in the picturesque little brook in our neighborhood park or going down the toilet. None of these type of things (lining up toys, being particular about sorting and ordering, extreme aversion to loud noises - which creates an love-hate dynamic with the toilet: loud flush - bad followed by swirling water - good) tipped me or my wife off to the fact that his endearing quirks could actually be considered components of a more general syndrome.

He is neither idiot nor savant, he is a beloved and loving member of the family and that is the reality for the vast majority 'on the spectrum.'